Still Here, Haunting Chicago

Christmas. Check. New Year. Check. Mid-January. Check. So why am I still here?  I'm praying hard, really hard, hands clasped and eyes closed tightly hard, that I can keep Chinese New Year, Super Bowl XLVIII, and Valentine's Day unchecked.

Don't get me wrong. I love all those events but I have to get the next chapter of my life started.  

I understand that the pace of life is different in the UAE than it is here in the US of A but I'm not there yet. Why am I already feeling the effects of their leisurely lifestyle? For future ADEC teachers who are reading this, yes, the waiting is real! I was originally told that the anticipated departure would be 12/26 - 12/28. Less than a week before that, an email informed me that there was an unexpected delay in visa processing so now the time to leave could be sometime in mid-January. Well, it's over a week past mid-January and I am still obsessively checking my inbox for the golden ticket as are about 100 teachers from different parts of the world. It's not the waiting that's killing everyone, it's the not knowing. Most have already rented out their homes, sold their cars, quit their jobs, and taken their children out of school. With daily spending and funds running low, people are beginning to be desperate. At this time a lot of positive self-talk and deep breathes are essential to survival. As much as I would like to refrain from Facebook and checking my email morning til night, my recruiting company tells me that I need to do just that, encouraging such compulsive behavior. Teach Away says that it's important that I check because the e-ticket could come any minute and I need to confirm my passport information promptly for the travel agency to issue it. So the roller coaster of emotions continues, hopeful, disappointed, hopeful, disappointed.

To my family and friends who are reading this, I really don't mean to be Becky the Friendly Ghost, hanging around and not letting go. I'm wondering why I'm still here as much as you are. One thing we do need to get straight, though, this gig is not a hoax - a handful of teachers have already landed in Abu Dhabi, meeting each other and exploring the city. I cannot wait to be one of them, soon, very soon I hope. Until then don't be shocked to see me around!

A random thought (because I simply cannot leave this post on such a depressing note) - I am excited about Chicago's Restaurant (Two) Week! Already made plans with friends to visit ZED451 for dinner. Maybe I'll get a chance to try out GT Fish & Oyster as well! Nom, nom, nom away!

Funemployment and Karma

Though some individuals like to call unemployment "funemployment," not having a job simply sucks no matter what you call it.  Just because you don't have money coming in doesn't mean bills stop arriving at your doorsteps, that is unless you admit yourself to a monastery and commit to fasting aka starvation until you get yourself on your feet once more.  

Okay, yes, for the first few days, it's "fun", it's liberating. In fact, you may find yourself making snide comments about how your friends are stuck in the 9 to 5 grind, slaving their lives away, while you're in your pjs at noon, snacking on Cheetos and watching Ellen DeGeneres on t.v. You may even go as far as having grand delusions about creating the Next Big Thing, becoming your own boss, and living the fast life of the rich & famous - sticking your middle fingers up to all the haters in the world who thought you wouldn't make it. 

 

But after a week or two, all these delusions begin to fade away and you come face to face with the harsh reality that you're going to go...

At this very moment, I am unemployed, not funemployed, because of my own foolish will and doing (I quit my job of six years in June of 2013) and waiting for my golden ticket to arrive in the form of an email, announcing that I will be off to Abu Dhabi to teach English for two and a half years. Every day that I wait I go through a roller coaster of emotions, from anxiety to excitement, from optimism to depression. Seriously, waiting is the worst. It gives you too much time to think - think about the good, think about the bad, think about miracles, think about the impossible. As I positive self-talk and try to motivate myself to be productive, refraining from checking my emails every other minute and driving myself off the wall, I realize something. I realize how blessed that I actually am. At a low point in my life, I find myself surrounded by supportive family and friends, even friends whom I haven't met yet via a couple of groups that I joined on Facebook. Yes, it does get a bit frustrating and embarrassing when you're constantly being asked "when are you leaving?" but I am alive and well with a roof over my head. My family takes my car off of my hands, relieving me of debts that I cannot afford to pay at the moment; a friend gives me a place to stay so I have somewhere warm to sleep until I leave; my boyfriend drives 3+ hours every weekend to see me and spend time with me, showing commitment toward our relationship; other love ones lend me their ears when I need someone to talk to and offer words of encouragement, laughter, and friendship. I cannot ask for more. Sometimes I don't think I deserve their kindness, but if I do maybe it's because I have been a good person, a good friend, that I have been there for them in their times of need. As one proverb says, "What goes around comes around." Maybe, just maybe, I have built up enough good karma that all these blessings and generosity are showered on me.  

Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that, and God has a path for me to walk through. I will follow Him willingly, patiently, and faithfully on this new journey that He has planned for me. When this next chapter begins, I have no doubt in my mind that it will challenge me and change me for the better. Ladies and gentlemen, friends and no foes, this one will be...