To Be Honest (TBH) #1

Many people have told me that I wear my emotion on my face. In fact Dave (my bf and BFF of 5 years come this December) have given names to some of these infamous faces I tend to display from time to time, most notably "sad face" (when I don't get what I want or when I'm disappointed about something), "duck face" (NOT the one where an individual puckers up her lips for Facebook profile pictures, but full on ducky-like lips) - when I'm thinking about something and it bothers me or any other slight annoyances, "little girl face" occurs when I'm really excited about something that I simply cannot contain myself, and "happy face" - well when I'm truly happy. 

As someone who doesn't hide her feelings well, naturally I'm a pretty bad liar. If I really try, though, I guess I can get away with it from time to time. I'm usually good at pretending I'm having a great day when I'm actually not, especially at a workplace. To me maintaining professionalism and relationships with others are of utmost importance. Plus, I'm the type of person who doesn't like to use someone else as scapegoat for my own problems. There's simply no need to be snappy toward others when they've done nothing to you. I usually mind my own business and keep things to myself. With that being said I'm also difficult to get to know because unless you go out of your way to get to know me I'll probably smile at you, have polite conversations, and continue on my day. I find it very hard to open up to people. 

With this blog, I'm hoping to be as honest and as real as possible, so it can be a part of my growth. I think I may have come off to family and friends as this fearless and adventurous woman about to go on this incredible journey to the mysterious Middle East with nothing but high hopes, excitement, and dreams. 

This is indeed a part of the truth and reality. I mean how can I immerse myself in and learn about a new culture without a positive attitude and a healthy dose of enthusiasm? But this adventure also comes with a good amount of fear, doubt, sadness, and anxiety. Will I adjust well to Abu Dhabi? Will my race and gender affect the way that I will be treated there? Will I like my placement? What am I going to do if they put me out in Al Gharbia, away from the city? What if I feel extremely homesick? etc, etc. I'm also worried about a lot of things, beginning with preparations for departure. Many days I feel like I have so much to do but don't know where to begin or how to begin, almost crippling to the point that I just don't do anything. Alas, I can't just do nothing so I set little goals for myself to accomplish each day - make 10 colored copies of my passport to bring with me, print out the application for an international driving permit and take it to AAA, etc. 

All in all it's an anxious time for me right now - so much unknown (departure date), so much to do (sell, pack, move, or donate personal belongings big & small), and so little time. Wish me luck, send positive energy my way, and pray for me as well.